Boundaries Are Actually For Everyone

It’s funny how the mind works. We want to set limits, say no, speak our truth and be free from so many of the thoughts and feelings that have kept us hustling for approval, belonging and acceptance. We start to make some progress and hold fast to the decision to try letting things go a little more. We open ourselves up to the truth that honoring our “self” is not selfish. We feel a little shaken and like a fish out of water but we continue on this imperfect course because something about it just feels better than where we were previously. This is our business. Our territory. Our work.

And then something strange happens that can really shake us up. Someone shares what’s true for them, uses their boundaries and chooses to let go of an old story that shifts our interactions with them and suddenly all this self-sovereignty, self-acceptance and self-care stuff seems a little selfish again. We feel rejected, defensive and maybe even hurt  and we start trying to manage, fix and fight our way back. And that’s because we have let ourselves become involved in what is known as “other people’s business”. 

There is nothing easy about any of this. We can be going about our day doing our thing and one small shift can happen and before we know it we have created a huge story in our head full of color and villains, doubts, assumptions and fears. The ego is extraordinarily creative and will go to amazing lengths to convince you that it is working in our best interest when in reality it is filling our head with nonsense and stories that need to be examined because most of them are completely untrue and unhelpful.

Here is the thing…if we get to set boundaries and limits, speak our truth and change so does everyone else. And this can totally stink. Because some of us have to start accepting that everyone else’s business isn’t about us. That the way we feel and respond to everyone else’s business is actually our business and no one else’s responsibility. We also have to accept that we have plenty of business to do on our own and are best served by remaining in our own “office” and not joining the “let’s create stories in our heads to torture ourselves with club”. 

It’s a lot. I know. Make no mistake about it. There are no gold stars, medals or trophies along this journey. No one gets it right all the time. It’s a process full of missteps, mistakes and all the feelings.  But it does bring a certain level of presence, peace and freedom with it the more you practice. If you see me or anyone else hobbling along beside you, say hi. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone! And we can practice staying out of each other’s business since it’s so stinking fun! ❤️🌟❤️

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